Friday, April 01, 2005

Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005

Mitch Hedberg has passed away. I love his comedy and encourage everyone to buy his CDs.

"I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too. "

" I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

" If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up. "

" This shirt is dry clean only. Which's dirty. "

" I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up."

" An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

" You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".

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