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Jon Bon Jovi doesn't take our women from us because it would just be too easy. The women at last night's concert would have done whatever that little dude with the perfectly styled hair suggested. We husbands and boyfriends would have had no chance. We would have just shrugged it off, pulled our keys from our pockets, gone to our cars, and driven home alone.
After a few days, a neighbor might ask me where Paige has been. I'd say that Jon Bon Jovi just looked her way, winked, and gestured for her to leave me for him. And that was the last I had seen of her. And my neighbor would just nod knowingly and say, "Yeah, sounds about right. That's what happened to my wife, too. Wanna grab a beer?"
The thing is, we couldn't really be mad at Jon Bon Jovi for that. He really is pretty close to perfectly handsome (did I just say that?), rich beyond my dreams, and writes awesome songs. We could lose our wives to worse.
The bottom line is that he is a magnificent performer. The corporation that is Bon Jovi really is about crowd pleasing in a grand way. It was a flawless night for the fans. Opening with "Last Man Standing" alone on a small stage on the floor amidst the crowd while the band played hard on the big stage, he burst into our hearts like a hurricane. He then joined his band onstage and rocked us all with "You Give Love A Bad Name." I had no choice but to be taken back to 1986, remembering my time at McGavock High, when everyone was wearing jean jackets and ripped jeans, and all car stereos blasted Bon Jovi seemingly all of the time.
His career could have gone so many ways after that big year. Alcohol, cocaine, heroine, internal band fighting, all of that. But with only a few small breaks and forays into acting, Bon Jovi is bigger now then ever before. Like Springsteen, this guy stays in shape, continues to write stuff better than anything he ever wrote in his youth, and works his ass off for those who pay to see him live. There are a lot of bands I like better, but I will always know that I will be thoroughly entertained at his shows. Bob Dylan live? A joke. Creed? They killed themselves with their reputation for terrible shows.
Bon Jovi has me sold. I've seen him three or four times and have always had a great time. I'll go with my wife whenever she wants to go. When my daughter is a teenager and wants to see him (you know he'll still be performing a good decade or so from now), I'll take her and love every minute. And my wife and I will embarrass her as we sing along loudly to "Livin' On A Prayer." Because we will always know all of the words. And we will always feel like teenagers ourselves when Jon Bon Jovi sings to us.
Jon Bon Jovi, thanks for an awesome show. It rocked. Your rendition of "My Funny Valentine" was perfect. Your intro to "Runaway" gave me goosebumps. And I should start each day listening to "It's My Life." And thanks for not taking my wife from me. You're a real gentleman that way.