Friday, January 25, 2008

It's all "Step Right Up" at the mall these days.

I did make one mistake last night. I got to Opry Mills early to buy my tickets for U2 3D just in case it was close to selling out. (Not even close.) With 45 minutes to kill, I decided to walk around the mall and see what had changed in the five or more years since I had been in there.

Ugh! It seemed that at every kiosk there was another wannabe carnival barker. Buy something for the pretty lady?, they'd be shouting had I been walking with my pretty lady and not alone. I'd have had a nicer time walking the circumference from the outside in last night's freezing temps.

The drive to Opry Mills had been so nice. Tom Waits' Blue Valentine playing on the CD player, the moon so full and so beautiful overhead... And here I was left saying "No Thank You" and "I'm Not Interested" over and over again and remembering why I hate malls. I don't want your 5-Minute-Massage. I don't need your Information-On-A-Great-Time-Share. And I sure don't want your Whatever-The-Hell-That-Is-You're-Selling.

Next time I'm early for a movie at the mall, remind me to wait in the car and listen to music instead. Or at least just get a beer somewhere.


Heidi said...

the mall is that way here in Portland too. my sweetie had horror stories to tell from his Christmas shopping. he ended up buying something just so he could get away (and fortunately he could afford to do that).

Leesa said...

I feel the same way. I especially am annoyed by the survey-takers.

Gotta love shopping online :)

Tabitha said...

uuuurgh I hate those kiosks!!!! "CAN I CLEAN YOUR DIAMOND?!?!""

Step the hell away from me and my jewelry you slimeball.

THe only kiosk that amazes me, admittedly, is the towel one... that shammy thing? Fascinating!

chez b├ęziat said...

lol Tab: I think it was the shammy thing that I walked by that I wrote "And I sure don't want your Whatever-The-Hell-That-Is-You're-Selling" for.