Monday, October 30, 2006

The Gospel According to Dooce

Found amidst all of the fantastic silliness and adorable photos on Dooce.com is a remarkable post which resonates strongly with this blogger, i.e. I know just how she feels.
We can’t shake this creepy feeling that we’ve been violated in the most disgusting way, made to fear the loss of the roof over our heads. I firmly believe that the mystery illness Jon suffered in August was a direct result of the stress he was trying to cope with, the stress of trying to remain calm and level-headed as he watched his wife collapse frequently into a sobbing heap on the floor.

I have not handled this well. I have also felt completely responsible for putting my family through this, for being the reason that our futures were jeopardized, and the guilt of that has been almost too much to live through.
A few years ago something happened that I won't go deeply into. Suffice it to say that I made an honest man's error in judgment that, in the blink of an eye, made me vulnerable to a lawsuit. Going through life alone is one thing, but when there is a partner and there are dependants, these setbacks can feel both devastating and demoralizing. For so many months after the incident, I lived in fear not that I would be faced with impossible financial repercussions but that my family's needs and wants would now be severely restricted - and thanks to me. I don't recall a period in my life where I felt so low for so long.

The good news is that nothing came of it. Absolutely nothing. People who could have milked a situation for easy money apparently chose not to. As I had prayed those many months for my family's well-being, I still offer a prayer of thanks for that family's honesty. Unless there is more to the story than I know, these were rare and honest people. I had dodged the metaphorical bullet. My wife and I still struggle like most folks do and there is no dishonor in that. She works and I work and the kids grow up a little more each day.

The autumn leaves outside are stunning. With my camera in hand, I will leave for work today a bit early and snap some pics along the way. Life can be beautiful, indeed.

4 comments:

AWE said...

I am so stupid. I went to Pigeon Forge on Sat. and forgot to take the camera. There were some very nice views that I didn't get to capture.

gnightgirl said...

Can hardly wait to see your autumn pix; can't get enough of 'em.

Leesa said...

I'd love to see your autumn pics. We don't get quite the colors you guys do. Quite the green area here :)

I also went through something similar years ago. Even though it really only involved me (and I was innocent).. it was something devastating enough to really affect my life. Luckily, like you, nothing came of it and I kiss the ground because of it :)

John H said...

sometimes, grace happens..

glad your story comes out so well.