Loyal readers will know the stresses associated with the intended sale of the house of Chez Bez. It remains an issue.
Our bad. We committed the cardinal sin of moving out and committing ourselves to another residence before the official closing of said house. Turns out that even though a closing date was scheduled, we were not assured of a smooth closing. The buyer has stuff on her credit report that keep complicating matters. We have rescheduled the closing date a couple of times, hoping for better results but getting the same. Wednesday was the latest date that came and went without the sale of the house. And here we sit in our apartment looking at the obligation of both rent here and mortgage there once again.
We are paycheck-to-paycheck people. We cannot dip into savings for this. Dave Ramsey I am not, much as I know I should be. I work long, crazy hours for a pittance. My wife works long and hard hours as well, making more money than me, but still not a lot. It tells a lot when a public school teacher is the breadwinner of the family. This blogger is still looking for his niches to riches. But all the while, this family of kind, well-intentioned members struggle and sink, struggle and sink.
Usually, I do my best to keep perspective about these things. As hard as things are for us, they are the stuff of fantasy for many people in Darfur. The Sudanese would love to have my problems, too. I can think of a few other nations in the news lately whose citizens would gladly trade their problems for mine. But that said, this time I find it hard to get that perspective in full focus. All I see is a beautiful wife who does nothing wrong. I see three children whose mouths, bodies, and brains depend on me being a better wage earner than I am now.
I look around and I wonder what I have done wrong. I put in the hours and I take the crap, and my reward is...well, not much when it comes to money. I've got a teenage son whose best chance at higher education is to join the Army because I never saved very well at all. It's a good thing that he wants to join anyway. But what about his two younger siblings? How will things be for us when they hit his age? And I am not anti-Army. It just hurts me that my oldest has no real shot at higher education than that. It's options in life that make for a comfortable life. He only has the one path, and it's a dangerous one.
Enough wallowing. I put it out there and I move on. But not before listening to Sheryl Crow sing "No One Said It Would Be Easy" from her debut, Tuesday Night Music Club. She's not singing about real estate, but I am thinking about real estate as she sings. Shame on her for treating her cowriters and bandmates so poorly. And shame on me for continuing to listen to that album and love it so much. But that is for another post.
All my best.