Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Becoming Fearless

I received an email today from Huffington Post. Arianna Huffington has added a new page to her blog, one that has nothing to do with politics. It's called Becoming Fearless and addresses the number one problem in my life. Her new book addresses that very topic and she calls it "the most personal book I’ve ever written."

Those who know me well know that I have passed and procrastinated on just about every opportunity to better myself financially. There is only one valid reason for this: Fear. Instead of seeing myself succeeding in certain areas, I visualize only the opposite. And so I keep clocking in at a good job when better jobs are out there for me.

Despite wonderful help from friends, my resume remains uncompleted. With beautiful templates in hand, and only a need to fill in the blanks as they describe my career history, I just keep putting it off. Even right this minute, it seems that it should be easier to fill in some blanks for a resume than to type this post. But here I am, typing away.

I think of the dream job in question and wonder, "Can I get over my fear of speaking in public?" It's just a script. Surely a little practice and memorization is most of the battle.

And I think of the time away from home required of me in such a job and think, "Is it fair to my wife to leave her alone with the kids while I am far across the country? What if the kids get sick? I won't be able to stay at home with them as easily as I am now." Again, surely with a job that pays anywhere from a few to several thousand dollars more a year than the curent one can make the above query a nonissue.

And if I apply for the job in question and don't get it, it's not like I am worse off as a result. I can keep doing what I am doing. Except I will have a good resume and a little practice at interviews under my belt. And I will know that I didn't let fear keep me from trying to be a better man. If I cannot heed the following advice from a woman named Arianna, how can I teach the same powerful words to my daughter of the same name? That's the most important part of it for me.

"Fearlessness is not the absence of fear. Rather, it's the mastery of fear. It’s getting to the point where our fears do not stop us from daring to think new thoughts, try new things, take risks, fail, and start again. Fearlessness is all about getting up one more time than we fall down.” - Arianna Huffington


Muffy said...

Thank you for that quote. I'm going to type it up and put it on my monitor frame and in my car.

It's the motivation I need to move on from some stuff that's making me unhappier by the day.


Heidi said...

as one who has faced and dissolved a lot of fear in her life, i have a few thoughts.

if it is a fear you have faced, yet still persists, perhaps there is something more going on. sometimes it is such a habit that it forms a good bit of your identity. who would you be if you moved past it?

sometimes an underlying issue hasn't yet been uncovered. maybe the thing is that you love being close to your family and aside from the money, you're happy with what you're doing.

my philosophy is that if what you're doing isn't working, maybe there's another method. perhaps rather than trying to conquer the fear, you try just sitting with it. make friends with it. ask the fearful part of yourself, why are you still here? if you really give yourself that quiet acceptance, you may be surprised at the answer, and it may be more positive than you think.

another way is to come at it sideways. think of the fear as a bit of yourself that is a frightened little animal. if you come at it head-on, it cowers and hides, but if you approach softly you might reach it to pet it. can you find a way to sneak up on it?

Arianna's method may work for some. i have found though that fear can indeed dissolve with deeper understanding...not just intellectual understanding, but emotional. conquering works for some, but for others it just makes it a bigger thing. getting to know it makes it a smaller thing.

love your photos. you're making me want to visit nashville.

Melissa said...

i am definitely following that link.

Leesa said...

This is awesome, I will definitely look too :)

Sayville Lez 68 said...

love your blog

newscoma said...

I went there too when I got the e-mail.
I realize that I sabotage myself much more than others sabotage me.
I'm making some changes, and terrified.
P.S. I still dig your new look on Chez.